Barry Visit
by snake screamer
Summary: Someone heard the news that Archer in a coma, and wants to make sure he doesn't wake up anytime soon.


"Man the generator acting screwy." Ray said noticing the light flashes on and off, one of the rare day of almost everyone being in the office (Minus Archer who was still in a coma.)

"Pam taking care of the generator, why are you so worry about it." Mallory sighed

"Oh i don't know... maybe cause its seems like slasher movie weather." Ray said pointing outside where it was raining hard with lightning shooting down.

"Bah, california been a dry hell for years, you should be happy for a little rain." Mallory scoffed, just as the light went out. "Oh for the love of- LIGHTS!"

Everyone pulled out the lighters they confiscated from Cheryl over the years and turn them on. "Ahh much better."

"Oh yeah, this totally doesn't add to the horror vibe." Ray said annoyed

"Yeah, but when has Mrs. Archer ever cared about horror movies." A voice behind him said.

"AHHH!" Everyone jumped at Barry sitting in the room

"B-barry. What are you doing here." Cyril gulped

"Oh I heard about the Veronica deane thing, crazy shit don't you think. It's a pity cause even if she was fifty, she was still a looker, really not going to enjoy what the police might do when they catch her. But there is one silver lining." Barry said "Wanna guess what it is?"

Everyone can probably guess what Barry silver-lining was, it was the only thing he REALLY care about. the pain of one Sterling Mallory Archer

"Archer being in a-"

"Coma, CORRECT!" Barry said firing twice in the ceiling in joy. "Really helping on both my and other Barry psyche knowing karma finally hit that bastard and hard. But then i remember you idiots got that derange kraut."

"Whoa, language." Krieger said annoyed but gulped as Barry pointed his weapon. "And as other barry pointed, there a chance he might turn that moron into a cyborg just for the kicks, and I REALLY DON'T LIKE THAT THOUGHT!" Barry roared as he grabbed Krieger by the tie and pulled him lose.

"So you better convince me you have no thoughts on doing that." Barry said

"Uh cause regular archer already bad for our health-" Cyril began to say but was interrupted

"EVERYTHING YOU IDIOTS DO IS BAD FOR YOU!" Barry snapped "Heck, my spies in the kgb before your agency sold out to the CIA pretty much painted a picture of how you guys act and its either bad for you or bad for the other guy... Which reminds me." He then kicks Cyril in the testicles. Cyril wheezed as he fall backwards, miraculously closing the lighter before it hit the ground. "Thats for ruining my revenge plot with my ex-fiancee by having sex with her!"

"Didn't you try to blow her up, technically he save you from committing murder." Mallory said

"I don't care, just as I still don't care if your friend about to cover your wall with brain." Barry said "Now does anyone else have anything to say or-"

"Oh I got one, Archer afraid of cyborgs." Cheryl suggested

"And Hoover had sex with men, but was a homophobe, what your point." Barry said

"The point you big dummy is, Archer will freak out if he learns he a cyborg and there a good chance he might ripped his own head off over his now admittedly somewhat rational fear of cyborgs." Cheryl stated

"Somewhat rational?" Barry questioned

"You know, after seeing how scary you can be, how big and strong scary you are." Cheryl said in a sultry tone.

"Flattery will get you nowhere... but thank you." Barry statted

"But even you gotta admit she has a point. What the point of trying to save archer via robotic if he going to kill himself when he realize it." Lana said

"Hmm, I'll give you that. But what about biologically," Barry said "This idiot has been proven he good at both. Who to say he won't revive him via cybernetic yet try to do so via turning him into a jaguar man, we all know that idiot love his animals."

"What, I have no intention of doing that." Krieger said

"Don't you?" Barry said

"Well... now that idea is in my head its kinda tempting-"

"Your not turning my son into hybrid you cretin!" Mallory snapped

"Aw..."

"And you, why do you care so much how my son wakes up!" Mallory said to Barry

"I already told you, you insufferable twat, Archer being in a coma makes me happy. So happy in fact I am willing to let him live if he wakes up in a normal way. However, if you wake him up, and somehow make that shitty iron butt monkey stronger, I think i will literally snapped, and you will know what i will do then!"

"Oh you will go on a murderous rampage, starting with us and use our bones as furniture but with Lana skull serving as a demented codpiece to drive the presumably enhance archer insane, which gives you a chance to rip his spine out." Krieger suggested

"Huh, that actually better than what i have plan, which was to find a lawyer to sue you guys over mental trauma, so thanks for that."

"Yes, thanks for giving the derange cyborg ideas Krieger." Lana said acidly.

"Your welcome." Krieger said not registering the dirty looks.

"So, with that thought in everyone head, I will spare your idiot scientist. But just so were clear, I will be watching." Barry said walking into the shadow, a few second later, the lights turn back on and Barry was gone.

Pam was whistling abit as she enter the room as everyone was still giving krieger dirty looks. "Okay whats going on."

"Let just say, Krieger suggestion better have been from terror clouding his mind." Ray growled

 _Fin._


End file.
